The dirty secret Cap doesn't want you to know!

While I haven't seen the new Captain America movie yet (probably in a week or two), I did manage to get a little star-spangled action yesterday, thanks to Syfy (or as we sometimes call it since the name-change, "Siffy").  For you young'uns out there who may not know, this weekend's flick is the fourth time Captain America has gone in front of the lens.  The first two were made-for-TV movies back in 1979, around the time Bill Bixby was turning into Lou Ferrigno every week.  Not sure if Syfy ran the first movie, but I did try and watch the imaginatively-named Captain America 2...and I do mean "try".  The story moved at a snail's-pace, plus it seemed like it took forever for our hero to suit up, so I ended up flipping between this and...well, just about anything else on TV.  Not that I was really looking forward to seeing that particular version of the suit, mind you, but dangit, if I'm going to keep watching this junk when there's higher-quality junk elsewhere, then I want to see the friggin' suit!

And then I finally saw the suit.  And the clear plastic shield.  And this particular fight.

Man, I felt bad for Cap's reputation after he got his butt whipped by the dogs.  On the plus side, the motorcycle is kinda cool, and they had Christopher Lee as the main baddie.  Cap versus Dracula!  The good captain should've done to him what he did to Baron Blood way back when.  That would've made this a much better movie.

After this travesty, we finally hit the main attraction: the 1990 Captain America movie.  Last time I saw this was roughly 16 years ago on cable, and call me crazy, but this direct-to-video flick isn't as horrible as its reputation might have you believe.  It does manage to deliver a few good scenes (one of the best being after Cap wakes up and a reporter tries to fill him in on everything he's missed, but all Cap sees is the guy's Volkswagen car and "made in Japan" tape recorder, so Cap figures the guy's a spy and bolts), and Matt Salinger (son of J.D. Salinger) cuts a good form in Cap's red-white-and-blue duds (which are quite accurate to the comic).  The problem is they try to cram a miniseries' worth of info into a 2-hour movie.  The characters (Cap included) are mere sketches of people, so much so that, when people start dying, you really don't care.  Oh yeah, and the Red Skull's Italian for some reason (I don't think you can discuss this movie without mentioning that).  Sorry, guys, Nazis are much scarier than plain ol' fascists, so you lose a lotta points there.  Seriously, though, if you get a chance, sit down and watch this one, and think of it as the Cliff's Notes version for a Cap TV series that never got made.

When I finally get my butt out to the theatre, I'll report back on what I thought of "Cap Part 4".  All I can say right now is that things can only improve from here.

Speaking of zombies...

Just wanted to do a quick post about a pair of zombie flicks that have popped up on my radar over the last couple of days.  First up is Doghouse, starring former Doctor Who companion Noel Clarke.  Jamin stumbled across this on IFC, and while we missed the first half-hour or so, what we did catch was impressive.  It starts with one of the more popular premises for zombie outbreaks -- a government experiment goes awry and infects a small town -- but gives it a twist I've never seen: the zombie virus only affects women.  The result is a "battle of the sexes" to the death!  Clarke and his buddies have to fend off the cannibalistic advances of all sorts of female furies, the result landing somewhere between the social commentary of Romero's "Dead" films and the borderline parody of Return of the Living Dead (or to compare it to other Brit zombie flicks, somewhere between 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead).  This came out in 2009, so I'll have to keep an eye out to see if there's a Region 1 DVD release

The second movie I've only seen in trailer form so far, but it's the country of origin that caught my attention.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Cuba's Juan of the Dead:

Any chance we can lift the trade embargo long enough to import this sucker?

The next thing you know, the dang things will start sparkling.

For those of you that don't know, the Hillwig household is a zombie household.  My husband Jamin has been a ginormous fan of the original "Night of the Living Dead" ever since he was a kid, and we've met nearly every surviving member of the main cast (we almost met George Romero too, but he had to bow out of a con at the last minute, so he's still on the "wanted" list).  We also tend check out anything and everything zombie-related, usually finding some new treasure along the way (World War Z, The Walking Dead, Shaun of the Dead, etc.).  Heck, as I type this, Jamin's playing "Left 4 Dead" on XBox360 and giggling like crazy as he blows the crap outta corpses.  Suffice it to say, we both know the genre pretty darn good and have a healthy respect for it...which might be why this struck me as so weird.

A few weeks ago, I'm bringing in the mail, and as I pass Jamin on the couch, he points at a flier on the bottom of the pile and says, "What the heck is that?"  I turn it over to see this:

It's a furniture ad.  Featuring a zombie.  In mid-June.  Now, this isn't the first time I've seen a zombie in a non-Halloween ad (there's one for Starburst as well as that new Honda Civic campaign), but in those ads, the companies in question are trying to be hip or edgy so they can appeal to the younger consumers with disposable income, therefore it makes sense for them to use such imagery, while the use of zombies here just comes off as kinda pathetic.  It's freakin' Gardner-White Furniture!  What's hip or edgy about a mattress sale?  Are there scads of males in the 18-34 range out there going, "Hmm, I really need a Serta Perfect Sleeper, but who should I buy it from?  Hey, these guys put zombies in their ad!  They're the store for me!"

Zombies are the "in" thing right now, I get it.  But we're getting so over-saturated that, last month, I watched a National Geographic special that focused on Romero-style zombies and how they could (hypothetically) happen in real life.  It was a good program, but seriously...NatGeo's cashing in on this?  I feel like the zombie phenomenon is approaching the point that Dracula and Frankenstein and all the other Universal monsters hit in the 1940s when they became fodder for Abbott & Costello movies:

Familiarity breeds contempt, as the old saying goes.  Or maybe it just breeds slapstick comedy.  Take your pick.

52 Pick-Up

Okay, at the end of my last ramble, I said I would give you a rundown of what DC Comics titles I'm buying come September.  I've been doing a lot of looking around since then, reading creator interviews and Newsarama/CBR articles and scrutinizing all the solicits, and I've realized that there's a lot more books I'm interested in than I thought.

First up is the sure thing, the one that I'd buy no matter what, even if they passed some sort of comics law that said "Only one title per person": All-Star Western.

When I became a regular comics-buyer, Jonah Hex didn't have a title anymore.  He was a member of the original stack, though, and thanks to a nascent interest in westerns, I sought him out in the back-issue boxes.  I got hooked really quick, but aside from the three Vertigo minis in the 1990s (which aren't the best representation of him), I never got to experience the thrill of getting a brand-new Jonah Hex comic every month until 2005.  I've been VERY happy with what Palmiotti & Gray have brought to the character (and have told them so many times), so while I am upset that Jonah's losing his self-titled book, I am glad that he's not losing J&J.  Plus we'll be getting back-up stories with all the other DC Western folk, so more bang for the buck.  Only shaky step for me is Jonah staying in 1880s Gotham long-term: He's not comfortable in cities, so this is going to be a little odd...but on the other hand, it'll make him even more ornery than usual, and that's always fun.

Coming in second place is DC Universe Presents.  I'm a sucker for anthology titles, and I've always had a fondness for Deadman (the original stack contained reprints of his Neal Adams-drawn debut) that's only grown since Brightest Day.  I'll give it a flip first, but most likely. this is a buy.

Everything after this is one "maybe" after another.  I'll give them all a good hard look on release, but I don't know how many will become monthly pulls.  In no particular order:

Green Lantern: I've been a regular buyer of GL since Rebirth, but I'm starting to feel burned out.  The Emerald Knight has been going on one Crusade after another for...what, two years?  Three?  Not to say I haven't enjoyed the stories, but when was the last time this space cop busted somebody?  Yeah, I don't remember, either.  I also might take a peek at the Red Lanterns title, simply because I like Dex-Starr...if the rage kitty is the headliner, I'll buy it!

Birds of Prey: I've been buying BoP since it was just a special starring Oracle and Black Canary, but this...I'm not sure if this is even the same dang book.  They're really got to wow me with their #1 or I'm done.

Batgirl: On the good side, it's Gail Simone writing, and I've had this on-again/off-again interest in various Batgirls over the years, Babs included.  On the bad side, I REALLY want an explanation as to how the heck she's getting out of the wheelchair.

Swamp Thing: My taste in the big green guy leans more towards Alan Moore and Rick Vetich, but I'm curious.  I suppose that's what this whole gig is about, right?  Hooking those who are curious about one title or another and giving them jumping-on point.  Problem here is, aside from the aforementioned writers, most everyone else who's written Swampy does it quite badly, so I might run the other way screaming.

Hawk and Dove: I've kinda gotten hooked on Dove thanks to her appearances in Brightest Day and Birds of Prey, but I don't like Hawk at all, so this one's really dicey for me.  On the plus side, they mention in the solicit that Deadman is Dove's boyfriend, and I'm curious to see how this works now he's...well...dead again.

Blackhawks: Number-one reason to crack this one open on release day?  To see if Zinda Blake is in it.  I've loved Lady Blackhawk ever since her first appearance in Birds of Prey, and since it looks like she won't be there anymore, I reckon this is the most likely place for her to turn up (the book's called "Blackhawks", fer cryin' out loud!  Why wouldn't she be in it?).  Or she might no longer exist.  In which case I'll raise a beer in her honor and then cry in it.  Even if Zinda's not here, though, I might pick it up, for the same reasons I'm considering Men of War when it hits: I've been known to read war books here and there.  However, being modern warfare instead of the WWII icons they take their names from, it's iffy that I'll stay with it.

So, that's the rundown.  When we get to September, I'll give you an update of what I decided to take the plunge on and what I passed over.